Hi there,
Ever feel like you're on the verge of success, but somehow, you are the one holding yourself back? Maybe you put off starting that big project. Maybe you talk yourself out of an opportunity because you don’t feel “ready.” Or maybe you set a goal, only to let self-doubt creep in and make you question everything.
This isn’t laziness. It’s not a lack of ability. It’s self-sabotage—and it’s more common than you think.
Self-sabotage happens when our subconscious mind sees success as a threat. Yep, a threat. Even though we want to succeed, our brains crave comfort and certainty more than growth and achievement.
According to research in behavioral psychology, this is tied to something called cognitive dissonance—when our actions don’t align with our deep-seated beliefs about ourselves. If you believe you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough, your brain will actually try to prove itself right—even if it means sabotaging your own progress.
Stat check: A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that 70% of people experience "impostor syndrome"—the feeling that they’re not as competent as others think. This often leads to behaviors like procrastination, perfectionism, and self-doubt.
If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone:
Procrastination:
You delay starting something important, convincing yourself you "work better under pressure."
Perfectionism:
You set unrealistically high standards, leading to constant frustration and never actually finishing things.
Negative self-talk:
That little voice in your head saying, “You’re not ready” or “You’re not good enough.”
Fear of success:
Believe it or not, success can feel just as scary as failure. More responsibility, more pressure, higher expectations—it’s overwhelming.
Overcommitting:
You take on too much, making it impossible to focus on what really matters.
1. Identify Your Triggers
What situations make you sabotage yourself? Fear of failure? Fear of judgment? Awareness is the first step to change.
2️. Rewire Your Mindset
Start questioning the thoughts that hold you back. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to change the narrative.
3️. Take Imperfect Action
Perfection is a trap. The people who succeed aren’t the ones who do things perfectly—they’re the ones who start before they feel ready.
4️. Set Micro-Goals
Instead of setting huge, intimidating goals, break them into small, manageable steps. Progress fuels confidence.
5️. Surround Yourself with the Right People
Jim Rohn said it best: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you’re around people who embrace growth, you’ll naturally do the same.
📖 The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest – A deep dive into why we self-sabotage and how to rewire our patterns.
📖 Atomic Habits by James Clear – The best book for breaking bad habits and building better ones.
📖 The War of Art by Steven Pressfield – A must-read for creatives battling procrastination and fear.
Self-sabotage isn’t a life sentence—it’s just a habit. And like any habit, it can be broken. The key is awareness + action. Catch yourself in the act, challenge the thoughts holding you back, and take the next step forward—even if it’s small, even if it’s messy.
The truth?
You’re more capable than you think. It’s time to start acting like it.
Stay tuned for more strategies to help you break through mental barriers and build the success you actually deserve.
To your success,
Writer, The Success Method
Visit www.luketobin.com for free resources 🎁
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